Make room for romance, without the pressure.

A good starting point is asking what feels inviting to both of you right now.

Ask what closeness means today

Closeness might mean laughing, holding hands, talking, resting nearby, or sexual intimacy. You do not need to want the same thing automatically; you do need room for an honest answer.

Create an invitation

Ask, “Would you enjoy a quiet evening together?” Make it easy to say yes, suggest an alternative, or decline. Consent is specific, ongoing, and can change. Affection is never a debt to repay.

Talk outside the moment

Choose a relaxed time to discuss what helps each of you feel comfortable, desired, and connected. Avoid turning the conversation into a comparison or a performance review.

Keep curiosity alive

Try a new shared activity, tell a story you have not told before, or make a small plan to look forward to. If discomfort, pain, or a persistent change in sexual wellbeing worries you, a qualified clinician can help.